Finally, an affordable Louis Vuitton handbag.
Injuries Make the AL East a Free-For-All
Brian Roberts’ return could be crucial for the Orioles.
The Baltimore Orioles have paid Brian Roberts $30 million over the past three seasons. In return for their investment the O’s have received a paltry 21 doubles, seven home runs and 39 RBIs. After battling through back and hip injuries, and post-concussion syndrome, Roberts returned to Baltimore’s starting lineup for Tuesday’s season opener against the Tampa Rays. Roberts chipped in two hits and scored a run in the O’s 7-4 win.
A Proliferation of Boogers
Cold and flu season has left our home awash in boogers, used tissues, and snail trail. My wife and I are constantly reminding the kids to cover their face when they sneeze, use a tissue rather than their sleeve, and imploring them to stop wiping their runny nose on the sofa.
The sofa? Come on guys! I know you’re 6 and 3 but Jesus Christ the tissue box is eight feet away.
If the snail trails on the sofa weren’t bad enough my 3 yo princess ramped up the booger warfare to a new level the other night. She was walking up the stairs carrying her pillow and blanket to get ready for bedtime. I was walking behind prodding her along. As she got to the top of the steps she bent over quickly, lowered her head, and popped back up. I was immediately suspicious.
I asked her if she dropped something. “Nope”, she responded. Then I looked down and saw a slimy spot on the carpet. Goddamnit!
“Did you wipe your nose on the carpet!?!”
A sly grin came over her face, “yeah.”
To make matters worse, the bathroom is right at the top of the steps which means she was about 12 feet from a roll of toilet paper and all the nose wiping she could handle. Her older brother hasn’t gotten quite that creative but I’m sure he has something up his snot-covered sleeve.
We’re not dealing with a rookery of albatross, a coalition of cheetahs, or an implausibility of gnus. What we’re dealing with is much more sinister - a proliferation of boogers.
Where’s the strangest place your little one has wiped their nose?
Redditor resgestae, who always has his camera with him, captured this awesome moment while shopping at a Home Depot.
He titled his photo, “I know a good dad when I see one.”
We couldn’t agree more.
“It’s all for Chuck…We all don’t look good. I’m not built to have a bald head. I’ve got a huge sniffer.”
The Indianapolis Colts are going to great lengths to support their ailing coach Chuck Pagano.
In a show of support, a group of about a dozen players shaved their heads after Tuesday’s practice. Pagano lost his hair while undergoing treatment for leukemia.
Director of player engagement David Thornton had a barber in the locker room following Tuesday’s practice and about a dozen players, including kicker Adam Vinatieri, defensive end Cory Redding, Pro Bowl safety Antoine Bethea and punter Pat McAfee (pictured) lined up. McAfee cut his long hair two years ago and donated it to Locks of Love.
The Indianapolis Star reports that quarterback Andrew Luck also shaved his head. (Photo: Matt Overton/Twitter)